My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I can't turn off my feet"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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