we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
