I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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