If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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