Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
