We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
