a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
