If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
