I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Bring me that man meat
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
