kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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