you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
