Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
