Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
