i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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