Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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