True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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