She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
