We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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