she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
