Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
