The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
