if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
