I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
