I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
