Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
