Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
