I can tuck mytits in my pants
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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