Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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