So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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