I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
and she was petting her beer can
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
