would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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