i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
