I need help removing her.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
