You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
