420 ftw
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
When are your genitals available?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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