his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
