when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
