i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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