she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
