therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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