Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Randomize
