Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
