we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
