upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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