then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
