Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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