Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
