Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
