You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
