Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
