I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
