I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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